Funny Days - Zuzu Is Coming

  • Section 1: The Birthday Party

     Bee Auguste, first documented appearance: Bianca Smith's birthday party in July of 2012, Van Nuys, CA. This marks the beginning of Bee's improbable journey to becoming the most infamous clown of the 21st century. In this section you will learn about Bee's late parents, normie lifestyle, the origin of the derogatory term "Chaplin," the indomitable Zuzu, and a mysterious figure you'll soon learn about in upcoming sections. Make sure to read up on past sections on the history of Commedia and some of the laws that govern the United States during the 21st century.

  • Clown Card

     A United States Permanent Accepted Performance Card (USPAPC Form I-575), formerly Homo-Comicus Registration Receipt Card (INS Form C-333), is an identification card attesting to the permanent residence and performance status of a clown residing in the United States. It is known informally as a clown card because it just makes sense. Clown Card also refers to the immigration process (much like hazing) of becoming a permanent resident and performer. The clown card serves as proof that its holder, a Lawful Permanent Resident and Performer (LPRP), has been officially granted immigration benefits, which include permission to reside and take employment in the USA. The holder must maintain permanent resident status, and can be removed from the United States if certain conditions of this status are not met. Clowns born into the united states are granted their clown cards as a birth right through the Homo-Comicus Integration Reform Act (INS Form CR-454) 

  •  C.I.P.

    cip final_logoThe Clown Immigration Patrol is a federal law enforcement agency within U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP), a component of the Department of Homeland Security (DHS). It is an agency in the Department of Homeland Security that enforces laws and regulations for the admission of foreign-born homo-comicus to the United States codified in the "We're not Commedia's Clown Car Act". The C.I.P. was founded on May 28, 1924 as an agency of the United States Department of Entertainment to prevent illegal clown entries along the Mexico–United States border. Originally only stationed in Texas with under 200 service men the C.I.P now employs over 20,000 agents with offices in all major cities of the United States.

  • Mimes:

    After the 1996 Saturate Riots in Downtown Los Angeles* congress quickly moved the E.N.D.A. bill (H.R. 1858) through the Senate and into law. An act "that prohibits discrimination against employees on the basis of sexual orientation, race, or cultural identity" Many native Zanni clowns rejoiced at the passing of the bill unaware that proposition 310 had been attached to the act. The proposition states "any employment of clowns, native or otherwise, with a net salary of over 50k must relinquish their colors and voice as a sign of allegiance to the United States of America." Those that chose to continue into the corporate world are often ridiculed by their peers and referred to as "Mimes"

    *Sparked by the "Great Lay-Off" of Garrison Petroleum where over 3000 clowns lost their jobs. Documents were revealed to the media showing pressure put on the company from stock holders to "help cleanse the country from this joke".



  • The Frowns:

    Acquired Elation-Incapability Syndrome (Frowns) was first diagnosed in Commedia in 1906 as an epidemic affecting homo-Comicus (Clown) workers during the construction of the Panama Canal*. Acquired Elation-Incapability Syndrome (Frowns) is easily recognizable by the permanent shift in facial demarcations around the mouth into a downturn on either side. (I.e. “frown.”) Constant moodiness and overall apathy toward self-advancement are distinguishable behavioral features of the syndrome. The Frowns affects only member of the species homo-Comicus (Clowns).  AEIS (Frowns) affects approximately 30 (%) percent of all Clowns. Of the Clown population, 79.9% of those that work in the service industry are affected (specifically those in fast food service, custodial work, and highway maintenance).

    *Clowns widely believe the United States government to be actively working AGAINST finding a cure, as the symptoms of AEIS [Frowns] allow for a more docile workforce.



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